Changes. Bitter, frightening. Um, no, not that I am really scared of changes. But then my mind and heart has been looking for an answer. How much of a change is good? And not painful. Every day I wake up thinking that today might be the day when I would find an answer and figure a way out of this trap. But the wait has been way too long. Way too long.
Oh, this endless wait and restlessness!
One thing, one and the only thing that is constant is change. That’s what they say. But wait. There is something that I really don’t understand. That is, how much of a change is good for you? Yes, that’s one question that my mind and heart has been trying to find an answer for. For quite a while now. For it won’t stop driving me crazy. You know how certain things happen in life, when least expected? Okay well, sometimes just as expected. But then it doesn’t stay for long? It just won’t. With me, it’s become a pattern. A pattern of life. Well, it’s more like a trap. There is no getting away from it. Not that I am complaining about the changes in life. It’s an essential element that we need to accept and get along with. Gets you to experience and learn new things, teaches you the most needed lessons in life. But yes. Getting back to the question. Changes, how much is just prefect and not painful? It’s difficult when you wouldn’t learn how to stop expecting and assuming. Assuming how certain things will go, should go, and would go. But then, they won’t. They don’t. That’s when my mind stops and starts to ponder. With so many things in mind and a zillion things to work on, I have learnt how to calm my mind and heart down, shush them down. Tell them that it’s all going to be okay. Try to not let them stop and look back, and drown in the memories from another day. And that I shall find these answers and find a way out. Break this damn pattern, and find a way out of this trap. But when?